Husband and Wife relationships

I wanted to explore the relationship between the athenian husband and wife that led to the women taking power. From listening to Lysistrata tell about how she always asked her husband how the war was going and if they were getting closer to peace, and how he replied with “What’s that to you? Shut up!” and if they persued the matter she was threatened with a clout on the head (56), its fairly easy to see that the women were not treated with much respect or given much power. However, this slightly contradicts as the women were the head of the household in the sense that they took care of everything at home, from children to cooking to managing the budget. Also, then factoring in how easily the women were able to make them men bow to their wants, I wonder who held the true power in the relationship. The husband, who portrayed having complete control and power (through possible physical and mental abuse?), and seemingly to manipulate others to get their wants (kinesis using his son to get to myrrhine); or the wife, who actually manages the household and succumbs to the husbands wants, but is easily able to take power and control as soon as they want to?